Thursday, May 3, 2007

Bon Jovi Week.

So Bon Jovi week ruled ass. For the first time this entire season, everyone gave a great performance. The people I was watching with kept telling me that Jordin sucked, but I thought she was good. The one person I felt shitty for was Gina Glocksen. As a rocker, this would have been her dream week. I notice she attended both nights, and not only did Ryan Seacrest basically come out and say "this must be killing you," they also did two songs she'd previously performed as her own picks earlier this season. First was Carrie Underwood doing "I'll Stand By You" during the first farewell, then the Top 6 doing "Paint it Black" for the Ford commercial. So I guess she didn't have the best week, unless she's the type of gal who enjoys watching people do things she wants to do, which I'm guessing she ain't. Anyway, the Tuesday night performances were as follows:

1. Phil Stacey - "Blaze of Glory" -- This song was one of two ideal farewell songs performed that night, because it's all about, as the title implies, going out in a blaze of glory. Perhaps he knew the end was near.
2. Jordin Sparks - "Livin' on a Prayer" -- Arguably the biggest hit Bon Jovi has ever had. Expectations were high, and she supposedly sucked, but again, I dug on it.
3. LaKisha Jones - "This Ain't a Love Song" -- Bon Jovi said he would bet on her staying based on how well she was singing this. Which didn't bode well for me, cuz I was ready to see her go home.
4. Blake Lewis - "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- One of my favorite Idol performances ever. A major risk, which I totally respect. Better to fail doing your own thing than to succeed doing someone else's thing. Not only that, but the undeniable fact here is that no other Idol could give a performance like this. One that not only excelled in new ways, but traditional ones as well. This guy deserves to win based on innovation alone. I voted for his shit twice.
5. Chris Richardson - "Wanted Dead or Alive" -- The first thought that comes to mind when you hear this song selection is the fact that Chris Daughtry performed it last year, and he rocked the shit out of it, so Chris Richardson would have to be out of his fucking mind to attempt it. But this was the first thing he addressed during his pre-recorded interview, and his reasoning was that it may not hold up to comparison, but you can't have a Bon Jovi night without "Dead or Alive." I thought this made a lot of sense, so he gets my respect too. This, by the way, was the other ideal farewell song performed that night, because it's about life as a performer through the career highs and lows.
6. Melinda Doolittle - "Have a Nice Day" -- She claimed not to know how to rock, but Bon Jovi said he was gonna teach her, and he most surely did. I think Melinda Doolittle is the best singer based purely on vocal talent. Ideally, I would want her in the Top 2 with Blake.

Right after Doolittle performed, George W. Bush and his wife came on the big video screen and thanked everyone for all the money that was raised last week. I thought the timing was funny, because "Have a Nice Day" is an anti-Bush song, written as a reaction to the 2004 election. Good. Fuck him.

Who I wanted to go home this week:
1. Phil Stacey -- I don't care how many good performances he still has in him. Keep 'em.
2. LaKisha Jones -- Still not feeling the charisma from this one.

Who did go:
1. Phil Stacey -- ABOUT TIME.
2. Chris Richardson -- FUCK.

I am in no way comforted by the fact that the two people going home were the two people who performed ideal farewell songs. I guess one outta two ain't bad, and if that second wasn't LaKisha, I should be glad it was Chris. But now the Top 4 is Blake Lewis and three girls who are... well... similar... in... ways. And one thing I value about the show is its potential for variety.

Other things of interest:
1. One of the extra performers on the results show was Robin Thicke, son of vocalist Gloria Loring and Canadian sensation Alan Thicke. Alan Thicke was on Growing Pains, and is also known for WRITING AND PERFORMING THE THEME SONG TO DIFF'RENT STROKES. Robin Thicke's song was boring, so we muted it and played the mp3 of the Diff'rent Strokes theme, which improved the performance exponentially.
2. This week's Wednesday show interview spot was Farmer's Market again. Which makes sense, being that it's adjacent to CBS Studios, which is, like, where they shoot this. So, if I wanted to be on this next week, should I go hang out at the Farmer's Market? Or will he switch it up again and hit up the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Boulevard? There's just no way to know with this goddamn show.
3. Next week's coach is Barry Gibb, which means it could be another amazing week. However, Ryan Seacrest called it "Sounds of Boogie." I hope it's not another one of those generic bullshit weeks where anything from the genre will do. Hopefully that title is about as accurate as Rock Week was for what was essentially Bon Jovi Week. It needs to be Bee Gees Week. Always. Speaking of which.
4. I was surprised that no one performed Bon Jovi's "Always." This seems like the kinda group who would give their left nut for a tasty ballad.

For the past two weeks, I've closed my Idol blogs with a video of a former Idol performing the shit out of a song that one of the new Idols attempted, thus embarrassing the new Idol. A task made incredibly easy this week by Chris Richardson's song choice. But I found his reason for performing that song too compelling to do it any dishonor. So, instead, I will simply post Blake's little tour de force.

This cocksucker better win, or I don't know what.


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