Will Smith Movies.

I am going to see Hancock tomorrow. I've been looking forward to this movie for probably over a year, since it was just a vague premise under its original title, "Tonight, He Comes." I've also been thinking about Will Smith movies in general. In the early stages of his career, I considered him infallible. This changed after a few missteps (which, like his successes, were colossal). But it's been mostly good, which is impressive, considering he has starred in AT LEAST one movie per year since 1995.

I decided to look through his filmography and catalogue his Top Best and Top Worst movies, in my opinion. In my opinion, here they are, in fun countdown order:

THE TOP FOUR BEST WILL SMITH MOVIES

4. The Pursuit of Happyness (2006) -- One of my favorite movies of that year. Smith is wonderful in this inspiring adaptation of a true story.
3. Enemy of the State (1998) -- I don't remember too many specifics about this movie, but I remember it being an impressive thriller with a lot of good stuff in it.
2. Independence Day (1996) -- One of my favorite action movies of all time. Amazing cast, awesome action, and a marriage of script and performance that never gets old.
1. Men in Black (1997) -- One of the best overall movies of all time, hands down. A script so well-written and perfectly performed. I don't expect Big Will will ever top this. But I enjoy seeing him try.

Honorable Mentions: I, Robot (2004), and I Am Legend (2007).

THE TOP FOUR WORST WILL SMITH MOVIES

4. The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000) -- I never actually saw this movie, but I was on a plane once (either going to or coming from France) and this was up on the little TVs without volume. It looked kinda boring. Consider this entry a testament to how few bad movies Smith has actually made.
3. Shark Tale (2004) -- I didn't see this either, but I think I saw a part of it once. It doesn't stink because of anyone in it; it's just another one of those generic bullshit DreamWorks CGI projects with a ginormous cast (and nothing else of interest).
2. Wild Wild West (1999) -- This was the definitive moment when I realized Will Smith was, indeed, not infallible. This movie, from Men in Black director Barry Sonnenfeld, was one of the biggest wastes of money and talent the world has ever seen. I challenged myself to think of one thing about it I liked. I could only come up with the train full of gadgets that I think there was. And the Will Smith music video.
1. Men in Black II (2002) -- I actually couldn't decide which was worse; Wild Wild West or this, also from the frighteningly incapable Barry Sonnenfeld. I decided this was worse, not just because of how bad it is, but because it destroyed one of the most promising franchises of all time. The one thing I liked about it was the brief moment where Will Smith and Biz Markie speak in an alien beatbox language. And the Will Smith music video.

I've been avoiding the big spoilery trailer for Hancock. I've heard the audio for it a few times, but avoided the video every time. Despite this, I've still picked up a few peripheral images here and there. Finally, tomorrow, I can be staring at the screen when the entire story is flashed before my eyes. I just hope it's good. This time, they don't have a music video.

Cheers,
Diego

Cell Phones While Driving.

Today was the first day of the new law in California: All drivers have been prohibited from using the phone while driving. However, if you're 18 and over, you're allowed to use a hands-free device. I think this kinda defeats the purpose of the law. People are all gonna be fumbling with their new headsets and we're gonna see a spike in traffic accidents. And after a while, all the morons yakking on their cell phones will essentially be driving around in stealth mode and the rest of us will be unable to see the phones and maneuver around them with caution.

Here's the real problem: It's not the act of holding the phone with your hands that is causing accidents. It's the act of engaging someone in conversation that slows your concentration and reaction time. Phone conversations are actually more dangerous on the road than drunk drivers, and several studies have proven that hands-free devices do NOTHING to change that (not that we need studies to tell us what common sense should already have covered). They should just outlaw cell phones while driving altogether. We got along on the road for 100 years just fine without them.

Cheers,
Diego

Bizarre Human Behavior.

I was at Subways and the girl making my sandwich went to cut it in half. She cut it really fast, tossed the knife aside, then stopped. She examined the cut, pulling the bread slightly apart, and realized she hadn't cut it all the way. Then she thought about it, continued wrapping it, and put it in a bag.

I could not explain her train of thought.

Cheers,
Diego

The Dark Knight Posters.

In 2005, I was looking at all the cool Batman Begins posters coming out, and I decided that I definitely wanted one. Here were the basic options:

Teaser posters, such as "black and white in cave" and "silhouette."



I generally don't like teaser posters, so I didn't bother with those. I was more into the bat swarm-filled theatrical posters:




I knew I didn't want the one where he's holding Katie Holmes, and I think the one of his head and shoulders was technically, like, the official official theatrical poster, but the one where he's flying overhead with his cape spread was just too beautiful to pass up. So I knew I'd get that one eventually. Then one day they announced that they were pushing up the release date from June 17 to June 15. I immediately ordered the flying cape poster on the chance that I'd get one with the original date, and sure enough, I now have a poster that has the incorrect "June 17" on the bottom. I thought that was kinda cool. I pulled the same trick the following year when they pushed Superman Returns up from June 30 to June 28. So I have a nice display of both incorrectly-dated posters together. I am pleased by things that probably wouldn't please most other people.

Now The Dark Knight is coming out, and I have to think about which poster I want. In December 2007, they put out some domestic and international teaser posters:




Then in April 2008, they released the official theatrical poster (with the burning building), as well as some alternates and extra teaser stuff. I don't know which of it is international or what:





You mightn't know this just from reading it, but I did a fuckload of research just to write this ridiculous post. Anyway, I think I would definitely like to get the official theatrical one of Batman before the burning building. That's basically the only Dark Knight poster I would consider essential display material. Ideally, though, I'd like to also find mini versions of the two teasers of Batman and Joker's backs and use them to replace my two current Transformers mini posters of Megatron and Optimus Prime. The Transformers ones are cool, because they're profile shots (so they're looking at each other), but I didn't really love that movie, so I'm always looking for a new pair to replace them. It's like I'm dating someone I don't really like (so I can get sex while I wait for "the one"). Right now, I think the hypothetical mini versions of the Batman/Joker back teasers are "the one."

So, to recap. I want big theatrical burning building and two mini back teasers.

However. This Friday I was at a store looking at action figures when I saw they had some 22x34 posters for The Dark Knight at five dollars each:



Five dollars for 22x34 posters. That's a fucking deal. So I bought them. They also had the original teaser one of the graffiti on the wall, but I don't much care for that one. I mean, it's painted bricks. I figure I'll take down my big Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life poster and put these two up in its stead. It's a heavy loss, but I still have the original Lara Croft Tomb Raider mini-poster to keep Angelina somewhere on that wall. And I still want the other three that I said.

Mini posters are easy to come by. I get them for free all the time at movie theaters and comic book stores. But it's not often I actually purchase new full-size posters. It seems to only happen now when there's a Superman or Batman movie. Although next year I will probably get at least one Watchmen poster.

Cheers,
Diego

The Length of Things.

It's interesting how people seem to have just organically decided how long everything should be. Songs are a few minutes long, movies are a couple hours long, etc. What if society had evolved in such a way that, organically, we decided songs would be a half hour long? Is it based on societal sensibilities, or is it more biologically based (though of course the two are far from mutually exclusive)? I wonder if there was a society where humans were exactly the same, but the society itself was really different. Or a very similar society, but the humans were way smarter. Would songs and movies be the same length?

Cheers,
Diego

The 2008 MTV Movie Awards.

Tonight I watched the 2008 MTV Movie Awards. I made picks on a ballot beforehand to make it more fun. Here's how I did:

BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE
MY PICK: Amy Adams, Enchanted
WINNER: Ellen Page, Juno

Whatev. Both were good.

BEST FIGHT
MY PICK: Tobey Maguire vs. James Franco, Spider-Man 3
WINNER: Sean Faris vs. Cam Gigandet, Never Back Down

I should've known. That whole movie was about fighting! I'm glad it won. I just went with Spidey 3 because that was an exceptionally cool fight.

BEST SUMMER MOVIE SO FAR
MY PICK: Iron Man
WINNER: Iron Man

No contest there.

BEST MALE PERFORMANCE
MY PICK: Will Smith, I Am Legend
WINNER: Will Smith, I Am Legend

That was one of Will's best roles. He really makes that movie.

BEST COMEDIC PERFORMANCE
MY PICK: Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
WINNER: Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Naturally.

BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
MY PICK: Michael Cera, Superbad
WINNER: Zac Efron, Hairspray

I'm not really sure what this award means.

BEST VILLAIN
MY PICK: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
WINNER: Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I suppose if anyone merits two awards, it's Johnny Depp.

BEST KISS
MY PICK: Daniel Radcliffe and Katie Leung, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
WINNER: Briana Evigan and Robert Hoffman, Step Up 2 the Streets

I only picked Harry Potter because I thought that was the funniest potential winner of the "Best Kiss" award.

BEST MOVIE
MY PICK: Juno
WINNER: Transformers

Holy shit. Overall, it was a pretty good show. Mike Myers was a good host. The Wayne's World comeback was fucking awesome (it was exactly as good as it was in the early 90's). And I scored a three out of nine. Funny that there was only nine awards (not counting Adam Sandler's lifetime achievement thing). I'm really amazed that there's no category for Best Song. This would be the ideal show for it. One, because they love to nominate stuff that would never get recognition at the Academy Awards, so they could nominate all the bullshit pop songs they wanted. And two, because they used to show music on this channel. Although, to their credit, they did throw in a couple of completely irrelevant live music performances by Coldplay and the Pussycat Dolls. I'd say the low point of the evening was when Seth Rogen and James Franco, in a seemingly unscripted moment, took out a bag of weed and smoked a J before presenting an award, and the directors in the booth were so flustered, they nervously stayed in a super wide shot for the whole thing, and cut to some useless reaction shots toward the end. Grow some balls, MTV.

I do like that there's an award show where Step Up 2 the Streets and Never Back Down both walk away with awards.

Cheers,
Diego

New Blog: Redbox Rentals.

I just started a new blog dedicated exclusively to my Redbox rentals. What the hell does this mean? Read it to find out.

Big D Pitchas: Redbox Rentals.

Cheers,
Diego