Black Friday.

Black Friday is happening right now.

Joyless families marching through Holocaust crowds. I can't believe that people will subject themselves to this torture just to save a couple of bucks. It's turned the holiday season into an ugly spectacle.

Black Friday used to just be a regular day. The day after Thanksgiving, when people realized Christmas was coming up, and we all had the day off, so everyone just went shopping. Because it was nice, and fun. Then all the crazy Black Friday deals started. People started lining up early in the morning so they could be sure to get the deals. Now I'm seeing things like people setting up gigantic tents in parking lots on the morning of Thanksgiving Eve. Staying there for 48 hours, through Thanksgiving, just so they can save a few hundred dollars on a laptop or a giant stuffed horse. I bet these people are spending more than they would have if there were no crazy deals.

I feel like shopping should be a relaxing experience. Go when it's not too crowded, pick out a few thoughtful gifts within your budget, and you're done. There are still plenty of deals outside the magical realm of Black Friday. Or you could be a part of the stampeding mob that actually took the doors off their hinges and trampled a Wal-Mart worker to death last year. This is why they call them doorbusters.

I hate this aspect of the holidays. I hate fighting through swarms of pissed-off consumers while the same 50 Christmas songs play on a solid loop for five weeks.

I definitely see myself one day moving to the mountains. Coming into town once a week, for provisions. And to go to the movies.