Thursday, April 24, 2008

American Idol Loser Wish List: Top 5.

Here's my wish list from last week. It goes in order from the person I MOST want off the show (David Archuleta) to the person I LEAST want off the show (Brooke White). I've underlined last night's Bottom Two.

1. David Archuleta.
2. Jason Castro.
3. David Cook.
4. Syesha Mercado.
5. Carly Smithson.
6. Brooke White.

Wow. Not a single guy in danger. Not David Archuleta, who I think sucked, or even Jason Castro, who sucked in a more obvious way. Instead, our Bottom Two are Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson, with Carly ultimately being sent home. I can't believe Archuleta and Castro's popularity. This show is a piece of shit.

Here's my Loser Wish List for next week:

1. David Archuleta.
2. Jason Castro.
3. David Cook.
4. Syesha Mercado.
5. Brooke White.

I think I've reached the point where the order of my list is pretty much locked in, and the only thing that will change every week is who comes off it. Only four more weeks of bullshit to go.


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Where Not to Sit II.

This is a continuation of my entry from March 13, People Telling Me Where Not to Sit: A Story in Two Parts (part two specifically). Today I took my brother to the DMV for another crack at the driving test. Again, I was told to step out of my car, and I approached the bench on the side of the building, where there was already a girl reading a textbook. I sat down peacefully next to her with my book. But the same woman who booted me off the benches last time was watching me walk, and when I sat down, she told the both of us that we had to move to the front of the building.

But this time I wanted answers. So when she said this, I responded, "How come?" She paused, thrown by this potential challenge.

"How come?" she repeated.

She then pointed at a sign behind me on the wall that said:


I could see I had already started to upset her, so I ended my line of questioning right there. But if I had felt more leeway, I would've pointed out that my car was being used for a drive test, and that the drive test applicants themselves are never required to be outside the car at any point, which would've segued to my ultimate question, "Why are there benches here?"

On a side note, I told my brother before the test that if he passed, we would get dinner at Boston Market, but if he failed again, we would get dinner somewhere shitty. He passed (it took me three tries too). I gotta remember this Boston Market trick in the future.


Monday, April 21, 2008

American Idol Loser Wish List: Top 6.

Here is my loser wish list from last week. The higher on the list, the more I want them to leave. I've underlined the names that ended up being the Bottom Three.

1. David Archuleta.
2. Jason Castro.
3. Kristy Lee Cook.
4. David Cook.
5. Syesha Mercado.
6. Carly Smithson.
7. Brooke White.

Will you look at that. This is the second time I've had to see Brooke in the Bottom Three. And on top of that, Ryan gave the immediate reprieve to Syesha, making me have to see Brooke in the BOTTOM TWO. In the end, Kristy Lee Cook went home. This was so close, it didn't even feel like a victory. I'm coming to the point where I'm not going to want to watch the show anymore.

Here's my Loser Wish List for this week:

1. David Archuleta. It's kinda good that he hasn't been in a Bottom Three yet. People feel secure about his future, and hopefully this will lead to a blindside elimination. I really dislike him now.
2. Jason Castro. Haven't forgotten this guy. I want him out too.
3. David Cook. Doesn't really need the show anymore.
4. Syesha Mercado. Always does great, and always gets shit on by the judges.
5. Carly Smithson. See above.
6. Brooke White. I hope last week's Bottom Two scare will push people to give her more votes. Also, I noticed the past two weeks, during the Wednesday night medleys, she keeps getting screwed in terms of solo distribution. If it happens again, it won't be a coincidence.

Okay. Very simple this week. I'm rooting for an all-male Bottom Three and an all-female Top Three. Let's see how good I do.


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

American Idol Loser Wish List: Top 7.

Last week, my American Idol Loser Wish List (ordered from shittiest to best) was this:

1. Jason Castro.
2. Kristy Lee Cook.
3. David Archuleta.
4. Syesha Mercado.
5. Michael Johns.
6. David Cook.
7. Carly Smithson.
8. Brooke White.

The Bottom Three were Syesha Mercado, Michael Johns, and Carly Smithson. What the fuck. WAY off. I hate a Bottom Three that guarantees the loss of a good singer. In the end, Ryan sent Michael Johns packing, which sucked, but I was happy to have the two girls remain.

Tomorrow is the next elimination. Here is my new list for the week:

1. David Archuleta. Simon keeps giving him glowing reviews, and I just don't like him at all. I don't enjoy the sound of his voice. He is becoming a huge threat, and I want him off the show now.
2. Jason Castro. Suck!
3. Kristy Lee Cook. Inconsequential.
4. David Cook. Like I say every week, I think this guy is great, but I hope he doesn't take one of the higher spots, because he's like the only current Idol who is already guaranteed a career after the show. That's why I put him in the Daughtry spot.
5. Syesha Mercado. Love her.
6. Carly Smithson. Could use a high rank, and definitely deserves it.
7. Brooke White. My fave.

Every week, Simon sucks all the guys' dicks and then gives all the girls shit reviews. Syesha is consistently good, but they keep finding bullshit reasons to criticize her. "You're imitating Whitney." "I don't think people know that song." How bout you concentrate on how good a fucking singer she is? I thought that's what the contest was. With Carly, they always claim she wasn't as technically good as she could be. Am I just tone deaf? Then there's Brooke. I think these judges are systematically destroying her confidence to the point where she's not performing as well as she could. And they seem to trash her more because she's so good about taking criticism. Obviously she's not going to win this thing, because the whole goddamn show is designed to reward only the powerhouse singers, whether they deserve it or not (see Season 6). But Brooke's perfectly suited for that cool piano woman style, and that is a valid thing that should hold more weight on this stupid fucking show.


Thursday, April 3, 2008

Made of Honor.

There's a movie coming out called Made of Honor. It stars Patrick Dempsey as a guy who's a shameless womanizer, and whose best friend is a pretty girl played by Michelle Monaghan. Their relationship is unbelievably platonic, but when she goes on vacation, he realizes that he loves her. So when she comes back, he goes to make his move, but whoops-- she's got a fiancee! And she wants him to be her maid of honor! What the fuck! Now it's up to him and his scheming guy friends to break up the engagement.

If you ask me, the title of this movie should be, "My Best Friend's Wedding," because it's essentially a fucking remake, but it's actually called, "Made of Honor." Get it? It's a pun on "maid of honor." That's great. The problem is that the pun makes no sense. See, a pun should have, at the very least, a double meaning. Like, the movie "Witless Protection," starring Larry the Cable Guy. The first meaning comes from the fact that he's in witness protection, and the pun gives it the second meaning; that he's a witless moron. But there's nothing about Patrick Dempsey's situation that fits with the literal interpretation of "Made of Honor." He's MADE of honor? No. That doesn't work. This movie is shit.


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

American Idol Loser Wish List: Top 8.

So last week, my American Idol Loser Wish List went like this:

1. Jason Castro
2. Ramiele Malubay
3. Kristy Lee Cook
4. David Archuleta
5. Syesha Mercado
6. Michael Johns
7. Brooke White/Carly Smithson/David Cook

Tonight, the Bottom Three were Ramiele Malubay, Kristy Lee Cook, and Brooke White. So, right off the bat, my #1 pick was wrong. But it turned out Ramiele went home, which was my #2 pick. So I did good this week. Here is my revised list, with Brooke White, Carly Smithson, and David Cook finally split into individual slots:

1. Jason Castro. Should already be home.
2. Kristy Lee Cook. Is very nice, but has to go sometime.
3. David Archuleta. Is occasionally great, but not my cup of tea.
4. Syesha Mercado. Still hasn't done anything to crack my top four.
5. Michael Johns. Solid.
6. David Cook. I think he's already secured himself a proper post-Idol career, so going out in 3rd place wouldn't hurt him a bit. He's like this year's Daughtry.
7. Carly Smithson. I'd like to see her stay as long as possible, till America gets that she's great.
8. Brooke White. Sadly, her personal non-powerhouse style does not lend itself to winning American Idol, so she's kind of a long shot. But seeing her in the Bottom Three tonight made me realize I'm not okay with her leaving the show at any point.