Today I made a donation to fight breast cancer and they gave me a couple of those pink awareness bracelets. I would proudly wear this thing, but I noticed that it says "SURVIVOR" on it. And as far as I know, I have never been afflicted with breast cancer. So would it be wrong for me to wear a pink breast cancer awareness bracelet that says I'm a survivor? In a way, I may be considered a survivor, because I live in a world where breast cancer exists, and I have never succumbed to it. But that doesn't really work, because when I told my brother this, he then claimed to be a 9/11 survivor.
Further research indicates that the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship has expanded the definition of survivor to include family, friends, and caregivers who are affected by the diagnosis in any way. The closest one of those I fit into is caregiver, because I donated money to the cause, so I am providing funds for said care. I know that's a stretch, but fuck, man! Cancer is bullshit! We all have to deal with it every day, because we live in a world with no cure. So we are all survivors. I hate cancer, and the mammary gland just happens to be one of my favorites. Plus, I'm basically just trying to do something nice. So if anyone has a problem with me wearing a pink breast cancer survivor awareness bracelet, they can go fuck themselves.