Today I really needed to go to the bank, but when I got there, it was closed. According to my calendar, today is Columbus Day Observance/Thanksgiving Day (Canada).
Now wait a minute. Let's start with the first thing.
Today isn't even really Columbus Day! Columbus landed on October 12, 1492, which was 515 years ago this coming Friday. Today is just the observance of it. Why do we do that, I wonder? Does it make it easier to always have it on the second Monday of October if the actual date changes every year? Maybe it's because we're grouping it together with the Canadian Thanksgiving Day. Which... I mean, talk about irrelevant.
The two things have nothing to do with each other. Meanwhile, I gotta sit on a worthless paycheck for another day while schoolchildren and Canadians celebrate their three-day weekend. You guys win... for now.