Saturday, May 12, 2007

Crappy TV.

This week's American Idol was pretty lame. Everyone gave uninteresting performances of obscure Barry Gibb (Bee Gees) tunes. Then LaKisha left the show, which made sense, because she was the only one left who couldn't conceivably win. I would say Blake, Melinda, and Jordin all have an equal shot at the title, although I would prefer Blake. It really might depend on their upcoming performances. Last Thursday, Randy Jackson was on Conan, and he said that he thought the Top 3 would be Blake, Melinda, and Jordin. Well, isn't that just a roundabout way of saying everyone is good except LaKisha? Get some balls, Randy. Right before Ryan announced who was going home, he asked Simon who he thought it would be, and Simon guessed correctly. Simon always guesses correctly.

What's unsettling is that Ryan keeps sticking Blake in the Bottom 2, but he never officially calls it the "Bottom 2." He just says, "You're safe, you're safe, you're safe, you're out." So, for all we know, Blake is the vote leader. Ryan isn't telling us shit.

Pink got to do a number that they didn't have time to air during "Idol Gives Back." It wasn't her latest single (U + Ur Hand), because the show producers wanted her to change a few lyrics, and she would rather not do the song at all than change the lyrics. I definitely respect that. On the other hand, I wasn't super into this other song that she did. Besides that, nothing else of note happened this week on Idol, except that Ryan did the Wednesday morning interviews at Farmer's Market again. This pretty much solidifies the fact that that is his go-to spot, and if we want to get interviewed, we should definitely hang out there on Wednesday mornings. But if they plan on doing the finale at the Kodak Theater, then the interviews could be on Hollywood Boulevard again. Whatev.

Overall, I'd say I've been disappointed with this season's theme selections. Some previous season themes have included the likes of Elton John, Billy Joel, and even Queen. This season didn't have Elton, Billy, or Freddy. I better see all three next season. A Beatles week would also be amazing, or maybe even a Beach Boys week. Get on this, uh... Ryan.

In other TV show news, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" seems to be specifically put together for idiots. The show always starts with clips from the episode it's about to air, and this week's episode started by telling us that the first contestant was going to reach the million dollar question. Kinda took the suspense out of every drawn-out moment that Jeff Foxworthy took before confirming every right answer. When the guy reached the million dollar question, he was told that if he decided to "go for it" and hear the question, he would not be allowed to walk away with his $500,000. He would either get the $1,000,000 for a right answer, or the consolation $25,000 for the wrong answer. He was then shown footage of the last two guys who made it this far. Both of them dropped out and took the money, and one of them ended up knowing the answer to what would have been his question. So this guy, not wanting to look like a coward, became the first person in history to go for the million dollar question. He was asked the name of the first satellite the US put into space. He was between Mercury and Genesis, but went with Mercury. Mercury was indeed the name of the first manned mission into space; however, the first satellite was named the Explorer. So this guy cost himself $475,000. But at least no one could deny his balls.

For a few weeks, I stopped watching this show, and when I started watching again, I noticed that they had replaced one of the 5th graders. The brunette white girl with the glasses is gone, and now we have a freckle-faced blonde named Marki. What happened to glasses girl? One of the last times I saw her, a male contestant complimented her on something, and she responded, "Are you flirting with me?" Perhaps the producers fired her for being so inappropriate with her banter. Now she's the Pete Best of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?"

In closing, here's a video of what Bee Gees week should look and sound like:


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