So today was the upfront for CBS. I have a list of the shows they're not bringing back, which I will now divide into the following categories:
1. GOOD -- These are the shows I'm glad are gone, and would have pulled off the air myself if given the chance.
2. I DON'T CARE -- These are the shows I have absolutely no opinion of because I didn't watch them.
3. I KINDA CARE -- These are the shows I watched, but are not exactly a huge loss.
4. FUCK CBS -- These are the shows I loved, taken before their time.
- Armed & Famous -- I never saw this, but was repulsed enough by the premise. It was basically Erik Estrada, La Toya Jackson, Jack Osbourne, Trish Stratus, and Wee Man training to be cops in Muncie, Indiana. Now, I can enjoy the reality exploitation of desperate celebrities just like the next guy, but doing it right is tricky business. And I don't think this is the way to do it. CBS killed this show after 4 episodes and sold the reruns to VH1. Must have been some cheap reruns.
- Jericho -- This show followed the population of Jericho, Kansas, after the town was cut off from the rest of the world following some kind of nuclear attack. I watched the first episode and found it to be something of an insulting Lost copycat. I didn't really hate it, but I saw no future for it. CBS cancelled it after airing all 22 episodes.
2. I DON'T CARE
- 3 lbs. -- This was a show about brain surgeons that I guess was supposed to be a really good replacement for Smith (see below), but was cancelled after CBS aired only 3 of its 8 episodes. I think the rest are being shown on the Internet.
- The Class -- All the networks wanted this one because it was co-created by one of the co-creators of Friends. It was a sitcom about these 8 people who were in 3rd grade together and meet up after a couple decades, and I guess get involved in each other's lives. I wonder if anyone heard that premise and thought, "I gotta see this fuckin show." CBS aired all 19 episodes.
- Close to Home -- This was apparently a crime drama about a woman criminal prosecutor who is married to a construction worker and has a baby daughter. It took place in Indiana, which makes me wonder if any crossovers were considered with Armed & Famous. This show ran for two 22-episode seasons, cancelled by CBS after it aired all 44 episodes.
- Rock Star -- This show also ran for 2 seasons. It was a reality competition where famous rock groups tried to find new lead singers, like the movie of the same name. The first season was for the group INXS, the second season was for the group Supernova, and the likelihood of a third season depends on CBS's determination to keep me from watching their network.
- Smith -- This was a show with Ray Liotta about professional thieves who also have personal lives. CBS cancelled it after airing only 3 of its 7 episodes, then put the rest on the Internet. Then they replaced it with 3 lbs. and did the same thing. Maybe they should start ordering new shows in 3-episode packages.
- Waterfront -- This was about the quirky mayor of Providence, Rhode Island, who, much like Close to Home and Smith, has to balance his work and personal life. The funny thing about this show is that CBS cancelled it after airing zero of its 5 episodes. The show never saw airwaves. Why did they shoot the episodes?!
3. I KINDA CARE
- The King of Queens -- This is a really funny show, and the last surviving sitcom to have premiered in the 90's. I don't really mind that it's over, because it ran for 9 seasons, which is great for any sitcom. Hopefully this means more Kevin James standup.
4. FUCK CBS
CBS didn't cancel any shows I really loved. This shows either great judgment, or a lack of great programming.
So that's it for CBS. The upfronts end tomorrow with FOX and the CW. Paragons both.